Review of Rob Bell’s Sex God
Well I’ll start off by saying that I greatly appreciate most of what I’ve heard from Bell thus far. Some friends and I went to see him teach at the Murat Theater in Indianapolis last November—it was, “The God’s Aren’t Angry” tour. It was one of the finest displays of biblically based rhetoric that I have ever witnessed. Bell is an extremely dynamic evangelist. His discussion centered around the historical development of pagan worship, God’s interruption in this development by calling Abraham, and then the difference between our God and all the other false gods. Throughout the discussion, his ability to make his teaching relevant by funneling these grand themes of history, religion, sociology, and spirituality right into the humdrum of our everyday lives was remarkable, to say the least. In terms of Bell’s other works, I have not read Velvet Elvis, but I have seen a few of the Nooma videos, and the DVD of his teaching – “Everything is Spiritual”. However, I will attempt as best I can to limit my review to this book in particular, and try to avoid critiquing Bell himself.
I like the introduction of Sex God. Bell’s introduction to the book is an explanation of the title and the philosophy that encapsulates his discussion throughout—in essence, “this is about that.” The idea he presents, which I think is right on, is that in order to understand, or even properly discuss the issue of sex, you first have to talk about God. Bell sums up his intro with:
“You can’t talk about sexuality without talking about how we were made. And that will inevitably lead you to who made us. At some point you have to talk about God. Sex. God. They’re connected. And they can’t be separated. Where the one is, you will always find the other. This is a book about how sexuality is the “this” and spirituality is the “that.” To make sense of the one, we have to explore the other.” (Bell 2007, 15)
Fair enough I think.
In the first chapter Bell discusses the basic differences between love and hate. He uses a horrific example, such as genocide and the description of a concentration camp during World War II, to illustrate the ultimate depths and expressions of hate, which is essentially an act of dehumanization—this, he says, is hell crashing into earth. On the opposite side he tells of a family who has gone out of their way to adopt and raise dozens of handicapped children who were discarded and rejected, illustrating our ability to love, and in the process allowing heaven to invade earth.
In chapter two Bell begins by making the point that our sin has resulted in our disconnectedness from each other, from the environment, and even from ourselves. I would add that it first and foremost disconnects us from God, but this could be implied I suppose. At any rate, Bell then redefine’s sexuality as relating to our condition of being disconnected, and our pursuit of connectedness. OK, that makes sense to a certain extent, but Bell quickly moves this new definition of sexuality into some uncharted waters, and runs the risk of confusing his readers with the illustrations he uses. He defines the experience of swimming with dolphins, a doctor’s devotion to his patients, and the communal environment of a concert setting, all as being sexual in nature—sexual according to his definition of being connected. I understand what he’s trying to get at here, but it’s still a little odd, and more than a little stretch to give these kinds of things such a label. I had to read through these paragraphs a few times because of the initial confusion it generated.
Bell makes a statement at the end of chapter two that I have a really hard time agreeing with.
“You can’t be connected with God until you’re at peace with who you are. If you’re still upset that God gave you this body or this life or this family or these circumstances, you will never be able to connect with God in a healthy, thriving, sustainable sort of way” (Bell, 46).
This disturbs me a great deal. He is saying that my connection to God depends on my own ability to be at peace with myself. This isn’t right. My connection to God depends on what Christ has done to make peace between myself and God. My personal peace has nothing to do with it. In fact, I find that I am often at odds with myself and who I am, and that conflict is a part of my spiritual growth. But it is my peace with God that makes the difference.
Chapter three is called Angels and Animals. Bell does a pretty good job here of examining the two extremes that we as humans can fall into when it comes to sex. The animal side is when we give full reign to our biological urges and basically act like animals. –In this regards, he uses the example of college kids at Daytona beach during Spring Break to make his point. The angel side is when we make attempts to completely deny the existence of our sexual nature and repress it to such an extent that we won’t even talk about it—I think he’s making a reference to hyper-fundamentalism or something. Basically he’s saying that our sexuality is so central to our existence as humans, and with so much potential to be corrupted, that we have to talk about it and get it out in the open. He makes a specific reference here to parents discussing sex with their kids.
In Chapter four Bell discusses in great depth the issue of lust. He does a good job here of cutting past the initial assumptions we may have about lust being a purely sexual problem, and exposes it as another form of idolatry. He points out that lust is really the pursuit of something, or anything, that we are deceived into thinking will provide us with some sort of satisfaction. He goes on to point out that lust always wants more—more money, more power, more sex. “Lust says to us, ‘If you just had this, everything would be fine’” (Bell, 78). He talks about the pursuit of lust leading us into the loss of sensitivity, or becoming numb to whatever it was that we were pursuing at the beginning, and how this increase in dissatisfaction generates anger and depression. The final points made in this chapter are that we all struggle with some kind of lust, and that it cannot simply be dealt with through repression, which never works. It must be dealt with by replacing it with a stronger desire, which only God can provide us with.
In the next chapter, Bell moves into a discussion of the incarnation and the cross. I really like this chapter, and it comes into the book at just the right point, the middle chapter in a nine chapter book. It is (in accordance with Bell’s style) peculiarly titled, “She Ran into the Girl’s Bathroom.” This is a reference to the opening story of the chapter which gives us the result of an adolescent Rob in junior high, asking a girl to dance. He uses this to transition into a discussion about the risk involved in loving someone, and how this is the risk that God has taken. “God takes this giant risk in creating and loving people, and in the process God’s heart is broken. Again and again” (Bell, 97). He discusses love, and how true love is selfless, not self seeking, and this then leads into an in-depth and theologically sound explanation of the incarnation, God taking on flesh in the form of Jesus Christ so that he can get closer to us as humans, and show us who he is. Bell even reaffirms his belief in the virgin birth here (for those who are worried) by citing Matthew 1:18-24. He closes the chapter with an equally sound discussion of the Cross.
“Jesus is God coming to us in love. Sheer unadulterated, unfiltered love. Stripped of everything that could get in the way. Naked and vulnerable, hanging on a cross, asking the question, ‘What will you do with me?’” (Bell, 105)
Again, I like the fact that this chapter comes in at the exact middle of the book as it provides the ultimate answer to our problem with sin, and it gives us the ultimate hope in seeking a life of freedom from the slavery of our lusts, and a justification for the suffering we often have to endure in the process.
There are four more chapters in Sex God, and each of them are excellent essays in and of themselves. Chapters 6, 7, and 8 deal primarily with marriage, and do a great job of expounding on the biblical meaning of marriage, the necessity of mutual submission, the sacred bond that is created between husband and wife, and the importance of keeping sex within the context of marriage. Bell peels away the many layers of cultural baggage, and illusions about sex, and explains that it is simply a part of marriage, and that marriage is meant to be a picture of God’s relationship with his people.
With all of that said, Bell brings the discussion to a close in chapter nine, taking this opportunity to draw our attention to the New Testament’s discussion of marriage, citing Jesus in Matthew 19:12, Luke 20:34-36, Matthew 19:6, and Paul in 1st Corinthians 7:7-9, 25-28, 32-34, and 39-40. The crux of these passages is on remaining unmarried, and how this is actually a higher calling for some. I like how Bell points out, “The premise of the Scriptures is that you are able to connect with God and serve God in ways that those who are married can’t. The tilt is for being single, not away from it” (164).
In conclusion, I have to admit that this book is a refreshing discussion on the matter of sex, marriage, and relationships, from a strong, biblically sound, Christian worldview. While it is uncomfortable to read at times, my only serious reservation about the book is with that bizarre comment on page 46 of chapter two. Still, it is a great read, and an excellent resource for group study. It would make an outstanding replacement for couples seeking marriage counseling, who often get referred to the book by Willard F. Harley Jr., His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage. If someone tells you to read that book before getting married, throw it out. It’s nothing but psychological humanist mumbo jumbo. Read Sex God instead.
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